Thank you, Sorry, Welcome


As Indians, we are never taught to appreciate ourselves. It is always never good enough for anyone except our true friends. But even sometimes when they do something good or we do something good and we appreciate it and say good job, we do not know how to thank them, it feels awkward or they simply reply ‘it was my job’. I don’t understand why. Why should we feel awkward to say Thank you. And even more sad is saying you are welcome. In friendship no sorry no thank you is the worst rule, if we did something bad acknowledging it and trying to correct it is never bad. It is only good news. It means somebody cares enough that they will speak up. Saying Thank you means you are feeling grateful, when did feeling grateful become formal or unnecessary. Infact all religious teachings say that we should always be grateful. Also saying welcome means you acknowledge that whatever help, service, things were given are being appreciated and it is only something that can improve self confidence, reinforce trust,then why feel awkward or think it is a formality to do so? Somehow as kids we are always taught to say Thank you, Sorry, Welcome but as soon as we grow up, we feel it is an obligation to say these words, also we know a lot more than just thank you, sorry and welcome, we know jealousy, ego, hurt and so many other things that forbid us to say these things and mean them. Social media has added to the list of negative emotions, everybody is either criticizing something or gets offended by something. Appreciation is only in the form of likes and loves as if it some kind of a benchmark for social acceptance. Due to less and less interaction in person and more on social media, we have forgotten the basic etiquette, of using excuse me, sorry, welcome, thank you. If somehow you do that in public you are again judged as prissy or arrogant.  

I was watching ‘Ramayan’, the old television series back in the 90s that was a regular show to watch without missing even one episode. Yes a lot of the wisdom is no longer applicable in this day and age, but there is still so much relevant stuff but the thing I noticed was everytime someone was praised they refused to take it and said it was their ‘kartavya’, duty. We have been taught to perform our duties but not be appreciated for it. Doesn’t appreciation strike the right chord and help us do the same thing again only better? What about karma then? The more you give the more you will get in return right? So if you thank or appreciate someone for doing good, it will only come back? What about the law of attraction? It will come back manifold, right? Then what is the bad news in this? Just want to thank whosoever is reading this blog. You can always say, welcome! 

Confessions of a blood relative

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I
was going through old pics of cousins. I noticed how blood relations have changed over the years. I have always had a fondness and a special liking for those who gave me attention but I was careful not to grab too much of it.
I played roles I guess while growing up, sometimes I was the kinds of being surrounded by people and always being the glue to help them all stay together, sometimes I was the lone wolf who wanted to cry alone depressed over not getting enough love back as much as I poured out. If I was to be myself I was always a shy, quiet girl who liked a little bit of compliments, a little bit of fluttering of the eyelashes and the kind who wanted to  melt hearts with warmth by giving hugs or holding hands, pat on the back who liked being a secret-keeper, loyal and always gave a caring, elderly authoritative vibe.
To siblings I always wanted to be someone who they could look upto. I do have some of those behavioral attributes maintained. However, over time the elderly figure somehow was belittled to just another blood relative. I never wanted to be the one who was ‘that’ blood relative who didn’t care much, was formal most of the times and never ever bothered to share anything personal. But when I look back at all my blood relatives be it maternal or paternal, I feel disappointed. I wanted to be the one who made a difference, be the torchbearer. I wanted to be there in times of counsel(which I am the best at is what I think), in times of joy and sharing the wonders of everyday life. I hardly talk to any of them now, not because I don’t want to, just because of the distance, circumstances, egos between relatives, their disputes and children suffering from hereditary hate and many other contributing factors that somehow make me unsuccessful or still hesitant to point out the whys. I bet I am not the only one, it is a game of two, I do need a reaction to an action however, most of it I blame myself for being shut out.

Earlier, there were joint families which had its pros and cons. I used to think I love nuclear families, but as I have grown in maturity and understanding I know we can make it work if we try.
I loved the nuclear concept only because of convenience. The awkward laughs, the terrible moments of deafening silence, the embarrassing complaints of parents and the inevitable comparisons to other kids also often contributed to the growing distance. My life was a fairytale in dreams but in reality its like a daily soap, average and repetitive. I am sure there
are many others like me who have also found their tagline in ‘ignorance is bliss’ I still dream of a day when I will be able to set  things right and be called the ‘savior’ of relationships. Until then, keep existing.

 

A letter to remember

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Dear Me in Future,

I write to you today considering what you have been going through lately. This is not a special day, I just chose it because I am in the moment, its now or never.
Honestly, there is much for you to learn in this world, but the thing you need the most right now is patience. Time may not heal all the wounds, but sure will hide them. All the times that you have been hurt will fade into memory and be assured better times lie ahead. Love has always been there, be it your dad, mom, sister and now spouse, it will continue to grow bigger and bigger and your insatiable thirst for love should too! The more you will ask the more you will receive. I see you settled well in life, who needs astrology when you have faith. Have faith in God and yourself. The sensitive soul that you are, you will not hurt anyone ever intentionally and unintentionally if you do make sure you ask for forgiveness, never let your ego console you that you did the better thing to ask for forgiveness because the greater thing is to forgive so be respectful of the outcomes. If you are not forgiven take it as as an experience and move on, don’t keep dwelling on the hows and whys. Let go of your inhibitions and fear when you meet new people. They will only help you if your hands are stretched to welcome them into your life. Also remember not everyone will always help or support you, some battles have to be fought alone. Be strong. Remember now, dad’s blessings are there to carry you through it all even if he is not there in person, he will always be there two steps behind! You have known his strength and a part of him is you so carry on that strength mentally, emotionally and physically. Never ask for pity, never look for it in someone’s eyes, and even if you get some that was unwanted, thank for it but don’t hold on to it, let it go immediately. Never offer it to anyone only offer support and only if you really mean it.
Build your own dreams, work towards them. Don’t doubt yourself. God is always watching, try and do good in this world, he will always reward you with beautiful surprises. Be grateful for your health. Try and eat healthy, squeeze in a little time for exercise. Stop being idle. Keep doing something, if you cannot find time to pursue anything, keep writing. Don’t give up like you did. If you don’t get a second chance, create one! Fall, get up, learn, that’s how you learned to ride a bicycle, remember, your knees were bruised and you are proud of the scars. Age is just a number, know that you will have scars, gray hair, wrinkles one day, experience is what you will gain. Do not preach when you cannot follow it yourself. I see your future is only amazing with wonderful travel adventures, glorious moments to revel in the success of your family members who will achieve great things in life, good camaraderie and long lasting friendships, beautiful kids and their promising lives ahead, a life spent with no regrets.

Lots of love and compassionate hugs,
From your present self.

Promises meant to be broken?

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Often I look back on my relationships and keep realizing that most of the times I am at fault for ruining it all, not because I am a bad person but because I make a lot of assumptions.Honestly, in just one meeting,I feel I know you and I can trust you or will just ignore you, based on my assumptions! Now, that may not always be a wise thing, but then I may blame it on my instinct or your body language or just language. All this happens for a reason and the reason being expectations. I have learned this lesson so many times and yet I am not thorough with it! I struggle to keep up, I am slow to react, but I have noticed whenever my expectations are not met, I assume again that the person is not interested in me, my interests, so there goes a relationship. Thereby, either I end up breaking promises or the other person does it anyway. This other person is also me in some cases. I decide something and break my own promises, let alone others keeping them if I cannot keep them on my own! Fragile and unsustainable relationships because of my assumptions. It is a vicious cycle. I wish I do break it soon. Just thought of sharing one of my struggles in life.

Completely random word suggestions of my phone!

I wanted to write a blog post and I was in the middle of one when I noticed my phone was suggesting a few words and I thought let me see where this goes. It was so much fun just to click on words and some of the sentences made sense while others none at all! Go on read and have a laugh!

‘The new year to you and your business and leisure and the kids will have the right thing to remember that you have to do it for the first time in my mind is that you are looking for the first time in the world and the rest is just one more thing to be able to make sure that you have any further information about this topic. The dream of being able to do it for you to know about the future of this tag is called from Scotland and the kids are going well as other people who want the same thing as the most important part in a few years. I did not have the right place to be the best. I’m not a problem with their Government which I think the last few different form what you think you aren’t going to have the option of the times. He has a great deal of experience with this new version of the e-mail by a friend who was in my mind. This was the only way to the gym and the other side of things that you have any questions about this topic is a great deal with the new one. But my battery is dead and gone to bed at night and the most common type in your area of expertise in my life! I love it when it is not the same as above. Amazon.com uses a few weeks, but the fact is a very long time, no see. Well done and the new house with my friends have any other country music video by using your phone number.’

Breathe

This word helps me a lot, not just while doing Yoga, it helps tremendously no doubt while I am at it, but in general too.

I am scared of thunder and lightning, we had a week of rain and midweek in the middle of the night, I can hear rumbling, it scares me! I think one of my worst fears is to get struck by lightning! God! Never ever let me die like that, a heartfelt request! But yeah, I get scared and with praying continuously, the one word that helps me is Breathe!

When I had my Written test for a driver’s license, by the way, yay, one more thing crossed off my list of my new year resolutions,  did not think I’d pass. I tried reading the book, but I never got through the second page….it was so boring, I got my friend to send me mock questions, I practiced them a lot, not advising to follow this people, but yeah I just sat there and failed the first four questions and said to myself, okay Breathe, prayed to God again for help and voila….passed with 88%

Even for the driver’s test, I could not find the horn! Can you beat that!? I didn’t even know where to look for it, I pressed on all buttons I could see, panicked that I am going to fail this, but then I stopped, apologized to the officer, stopped and had to breathe to start all over again! But I passed amazingly.

No wonder they ask pregnant women to breathe!

Not just that, but I think the most of our actions or reactions can be changed by such a simple step to breathe! We forget it most of the times and harm ourselves, all you have to do is breathe. Remember when you are doing the hardest of exercises, you tend to hold your breath and the instructor tells you to breathe through it. I don’t know what it is but sticky situations make me lose my focus and I panic easily and then I think way too much, overstressing my poor little brain! ha ha! There are few other key words too, but Breathe definitely helps most of the times. What is your key word that help you regain focus or get you out of tricky, sticky situations?

Tomorrow never comes!

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So here I am it’s almost 10.30 I’m done with breakfast and I’m waiting to go running at 11 am in the morning when there’s not too much rush at the gym and I can be myself and go at my speed and there’s no judging there are no bulky muscles around and I’m thinking to myself, all right get off your bum wear your clothes, tie your shoes and get out. I am so motivated today. Let me just fix my hair, wash my face, pick out my clothes, get my socks, by then I look at the clock and it’s 10:45 and I’m thinking, in 15 minutes I’ll have to leave and go hit the gym and then suddenly I remember Uh-oh I forgot to call a friend or I forgot to check on the recipe for lunch or I forgot to write something in my diary or I just remember random stuff to do like making a to-do list, I need to iron my t-shirts or clean the bathroom or do other chores and then it’s 11 am. The dreaded 11 a.m. I’m not out of the door I’m not wearing those gym pants or the gym shoes and I’m thinking oh well, the time’s gone so let me decide now, do the gym at 4 and then I start watching TV, I cook lunch and then I catch up on my FRIENDS re-runs and by the time it’s over, I look at the clock and its 5:00. Oh no, I missed the time again. Alright maybe 6:30? But then all the office crowd just comes back from work. Are  you sure you want to hit the gym now when there could be a little bit of judging a little bit of flaunting, a wee bit of flexing muscles. Argh, I don’t want to go now, it’s too late . I carry on with other work and then it’s time for dinner again and I’m thinking laying on my bed it’s almost 12:30 am. I must go to the gym tomorrow I must run on the treadmill I must walk outside I need some sunshine for myself, I must go out. I end up sitting on my couch watching TV at 10:30 thinking I need to go hit the gym. Groundhog day anyone!?

My ubiquitous world – A poem

https://poohalicious.wordpress.comWhat the world thinks I am,
They might give it a thought
a bore, a pity, a snob, a coy, a dunce, a blob
none of these, I am not.
 
Of rainbows and fairies and candies,
of unicorns and glitter,
I love everything bright, happy, sunny, cute, mad and funny
doubt and anger give me a jitter.
 
I can be warmest to the coziest of hearthttps://poohalicious.wordpress.com
shrewdest to the cold,
I can be crazy, generous, kind, hyper, wild and sublime
will my adventures someday be told.
 
I can sit at a place for hours
not move a fly from my face
I can also pretend, play, fly, sing, dance and cry
random butterflies and skies to chase.
 
https://poohalicious.wordpress.comMy hands are full sometimes, sometimes barren
so much to do and so little time
Pray, think, receive, love, smile, believe
parallel to this earthly world is a separate, ubiquitous world of mine.
 
 
 
 

Battling with myself

There was an incident recently that made me doubt myself, to an extent that I cried and cried and got lost into a conversation that kept building up and there was no one around, the conversation was with myself! I have talked about loneliness and my positive side is to overcome it, but when loneliness makes you talk to yourself, you need to stop and wake yourself up. That is not right, its just not right. Letting people affect you, make you doubt yourself, letting them control your emotions is just not right. It is me who will decide if I did something wrong, if its not as bad as killing anyone, telling lies to hurt intentionally, stealing or cheating, it can be fixed. My bad habit is a small thing gets blown up in my mind, becomes a big issue and has its consequences. Do I stop living for that!? No, of course not, yes I cry, but I know that the pain can be healed, the hurt can be cured, there is always a second chance, if forgiving or forgetting is the greater thing to do, I need to do it. I am not perfect and I should not even aim to be, I will make mistakes. I need to learn to trust myself and not doubt, I need to be thankful for what I have, look forward to what I can do to make things better, to help and uplift others while I try to walk on the path of righteousness. Is there a judgement of right and wrong? No, not from my end, I am no one to judge others. I can judge myself because I know myself better than the ones who try to judge me. So I need to forgive myself if I think I did something wrong and move on. If I don’t treat myself as I want others to treat me, I am doing things wrong, I need to stop, take a step back and then move forward. https://poohalicious.wordpress.com/When I start treating myself right, I can treat others well, and expect them to treat me the same way. Unless they make peace with themselves, they won’t be able to release good into this world, does that mean, I have to stop doing good? No, all the major holy books will also say similar things. I just have to be patient and empathetic to myself and others. I need to learn to forgive myself and stop hating myself. I don’t have to try to be perfect, I just have to know and realize there are others just like me struggling and fighting their own battles.

Aside

Lost or found

https://poohalicious.wordpress.com/

Ever felt like the loneliest person in a crowd? My nature is so that I can be the one to stand out in a crowd but I can also get easily drowned in a swarm of people. You can call it a talent, ability or  a mood swing. I have heard tales of tides,water, moon affecting our moods, but for me I think I am definitely extreme. I have an exceptionally optimistic day on a full moon(that’s what my name means) day and my energy completely drains me out on a new moon day. Scientific or otherwise, the reason I am saying this is, sometimes when you are at a quieter place in life it just makes sense, to think, get time to reflect on what we have achieved or what new quest we are ready to take on, to prepare ourselves for an adventure that is headed our way. The other way of looking at it is totally pessimistic, that I am not wanted, I am not doing anything worthwhile, or I am just a big blob on this earth. Not to say I have never said such things, I admit I have time and again. Who am I kidding, I have even shoved myself into a dark corner in the closet. But the positive thing is I can also motivate myself, to get up, do something about something that is not right, does not fit and it gets me all fidgety. I want to just say that no matter, how hard life seems, struggles never seem to end, but that is how we are all going to get through, no matter how much you try to shake it off, try to wiggle yourself out of the situation, it is going to come back, to test you. Have patience, stay calm, paint, listen to your favorite music, get up and dance a little, strut your stuff, you will eventually get there one day or the other, just try and never give up. Do you ever give up on Candy Crush or Call of Duty? No! That’s right, there is always a ‘play’ or ‘retry’ button in life too!
Feeling lonely is natural and just a phase, the more important thing is not to lose it to a level where insecurity starts assaulting, that’s when we need to give ourselves a wake-up call, start spinning a new dream and have faith that only you can achieve it. It’s only a matter of time and when you try hard enough to try and grab hold of every opportunity you get to realize the dream, go for it. This feeling reminds me of a lost or found department in school, if you have lost something somewhere, if you look hard enough you will find it. Sometimes, we find something we were not even looking for. That state of happiness always brings positive energy and that battery can charge me up and last for days on end. Good luck in finding what you might have lost.

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