Signs you might be over 30…

I cried the day I turned 30 years old. On my birthday I literally shed tears of sadness that my "youth" was over and "mid life" started. I couldn't fathom why God had to do this to me. Yes you may be reminded of Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Exactly that. I couldn't believe I am not in my twenties anymore, suddenly I felt like I cannot make any more mistakes in life, I have to be older and wiser, but jokes apart I felt these signs after I turned 30. In all honesty I do feel like a strong, fierce, independent woman from time to time but I also feel what some women may relate to the list below:

1) I started noticing I injured myself easily and recovery took a wee bit longer than it did in my twenties.
2) Meditation and Yoga attracted me more than 4 hours or more of dancing late night at pubs.
3 I preferred lounge music than rock because I could listen to hours of rock music before and suddenly my preference had changed to soft easy listening and couldn't tolerate rock for more than an hour. Sad but true!
4) I wanted to stay in more than I wanted to go out.
5) Health check ups felt like a priority.
6) I was making more responsible choices in life like smoothies over coke!
7) Sleep was knocking me out pretty early, I was no more a night owl.
8) I felt all the aches and pains and joints that I had never noticed before.
9) Lots of been there done that experiences when people suggested to try something new.
10) The choices in my clothes changed, my shorts were too short I felt! Damn you ageing genes.
11) Started noticing almost every married couple has a kid and a panic attack was on its way like some alarm just went off!
12) The immediate thought was So what, I will take my own time! It will happen when it has to! Surround sound claps in my head for that thought alone!
13) Everything that was a rush was turned a dial down and 'smooth' was the new way to take.
14) I started feeling full easily, earlier it seemed like a never ending appetite.
15) Wine was a new friend and vodka got dumped.
16) It was time to live for myself, Selfish was the new mantra.
17) Flats were welcome, heels bid goodbye.
18) Comfort was now a luxury.
19) No more screaming with excitement, shouting at puppies or babies, snorting while laughing, more conscious social behavior.
20) Nailpaints and lipsticks were easily tossed for newer neutral nuder shades.
21) Social media updates take longgggggg breaks.
22) Did I mention gray hair everywhere?
23) Too much time spent on weighing scale than exercising.
24) So many judgemental remarks comparing generations.
25) Limited girl gang. No more mosh pits full of girls everywhere, the more the better, no lesser the quieter, more manageable, lesser hassles.
26) Money slips easily out of hands.
27) Knowledge is favored over entertainment.
28) Lots of feminism talks/chats/opinions.
29) Lots and lots of opinions.
30) The best part is no more asking permissions, just doing it, ah the sense of liberation!

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Judgement Day!

The beautiful thing about this post is that the title is not related to any religious sentiment, so I hope it won’t trigger any religious responses but when I start by saying this it makes me realize how easily I can come to the point that I know each and everyone reading this post will have a judgement. That is what this post is about.

I was walking towards the gym one day and passed by the community pool and heard a little voice almost too excited, exclaimed ‘Hi!’ I looked back to see who it was and if it was me that they wanted to say Hi to, it is not very common these days to get even a smile from strangers forget a Hi! It was a little kid about 3 or 4 ready to jump into the pool with his little shoulder floats and just shorts accompanied by his mom or guardian who didn’t manage to curve those laugh lines even a little bit. It was more like an invitation from him to say Hi wanna come swim? I just smiled back. I always do. Also, I had read somewhere to always smile at kids it boosts their confidence rather than turning away or looking away that sends a message of shutting down. Another day it was a little girl just jumping around splashing water everywhere, she was older about 6 or 7 and even bolder who asked me in a sweet voice, Hi, why are you not swimming? I replied, I am not wearing the right clothes and she replied so innocently so what, the water is so nice, you should come. I considered it for a second and then I glanced across at the pool ‘rules’ board. I must admit I am not a daring person to break rules. It does take guts and sometimes stupidity to break rules. Sometimes I lack the guts sometimes the stupidity. But the way she kept convincing me I was thinking wow if only her mother heard her talking to a stranger and she did, the glare her mom gave me to stop talking to her daughter, I just scurried off saying may be I will see her Friday afternoon if she comes back. As soon as I stepped away the little girl got an earful about not talking to strangers. I felt bad for the kid who has no idea or judgments on what a stranger can do if he/she is friendly or a pervert. No judgement at all. Whereas both mothers had already judged me just by glancing at me that I was no good talking or responding to their kids. I am sure by the age of 9 or 10 kids start immitating adults if they see adults not interacting socially they refrain as well and then it triggers the aspect of judgement. Kids start judging peers, start having trust issues and get bullied or bully others, if only adults can show them it can be a better place if people are more friendly and peaceful towards each other.

Believe me I judge a lot, each and every day, everything and everyone. But that innocence struck a weird chord in my heart, where is that innocence, that trust, most of us had it, but where did it go? I remember vividly my sister just 3 or 4 would wander away even with the nanny around house. The fruit vendor, vegetable vendor, the laundry man would bring her back holding her hand and she was the prettiest of kids with bluish grey eyes, fair skin and red lips wearing mostly her sleeveless one piece cotton dress. Were there any trust issues? No, not really. How did it change over the years!? Who is to blame? I keep questioning, doubting everything and everyone. Is it just that thinking that attracts crime or misfortune? Judgement day will come when it will come but isn’t it time to judge our own thoughts and correct them first before we pass judgements on others? Judging people on their color, race, age, decisions, appearance, past. Then again who are we to judge others in the first place? For that reason alone can we rebuild the innocence of children when it comes to trust and make this a safer place for the future generations to grow up?

Transition from a Best Friend-Girl Friend-Wife! Part I

I am sure the title is pretty attractive and I am even more confident that many women who have been through this phase will understand what it means to go through this. Here is what I think:
As a friend, you know each other well you are at a better stage than just being acquainted, you greet each other by names and not just Hi, Hello, you meet in groups, go to picnics, parties or other celebrations, etc. Your talks are like, “Hey, so did you see that show on TV last night? It was soooo awesome” Then you move on to the next stage to become great friends, you start going out for coffee, it does not matter if some people ditch you end up only with that friend, it is not awkward, instead you enjoy the chats, the gossips. Your talks begin with “Did you know what happened with X and Y?” Then come the ‘Glory days’ you are now best of friends you talk so much that even if your mouth hurts you won’t know, even if your ear is warm holding the phone for so long you don’t bother, you listen and talk and talk and listen and never get tired. You call and cry, and your best friend is always there, like your favorite song you are never tired of humming, and it is still not awkward, now you start sharing secrets really personal ones! You are straight in the face, a yes or a no. “If you gotta do it, you gotta do it” types! Your talks are like, “Dude, what’s with your hair!? You need to change it man, it reminds me of a porcupine”. You start complaining about your family to this friend who is pretty special by now. Then suddenly one day out of nowhere, your best friend goes away like for two days to a hometown or a vacation with the family or some camping trip. That is when you realize you are missing something, like someone just took an arm or a leg away from you, you stop thinking or think a lot, and get restless, and when your friend is back, you give the tightest hug, now this becomes awkward, something is wrong with your eyes, you can’t stop staring in your best friend’s eyes. You go home and think about your best friend the whole day, the entire night! What is wrong with you, you ask yourself, you chuckle, you blush! Oh no……You are in love with your best friend…Smile!!! Now your talks become awkward, really really awkward! “Do you think I should have done that, instead of that?” And then you enter the girlfriend stage. You become possessive, you start getting ‘hurt’ all the time! Your talks are now sagas, tragedies, comedies, and 70 mm movie like stories! Your talks are mushy so many times and sometimes over-emotional. “You know how much that hurts? You shouldn’t have said that!” And then your boyfriend has to say ‘Sorry” more than 1000 times. You will cut his calls, shut the door on him, dump your face in the pillow and cry over the smallest thing, you are the most fragile at this stage, and your boyfriend will do any damn thing on earth to make it up to you! He will send flowers, cakes, chocolates, buy more gifts, send more cards, sms, emails! Phew! You just want him to beg in the end! And then someday when you have some exciting news and you can’t wait to share it, you will patch up! Things go back to normal, all the coffee shop trips, silly shopping like “You and me” cards, gifts, toys, and so much of useless stuff that someday you are going to throw most of them away or are going to lose it anyway, or gift it to some relative on their birthday or wedding forgetting who it was from because it looks so new! While denying that you will never ever go to a park, some or other day you end up on a park bench, you don’t know how, but you do, you end up watching the worst, flop movies of all times, but you don’t care because you get to hold hands in the dark! 😛 That is some adventure…
I think I will write a part two! …..hold on….It’s far from over…. to be continued….

Welcome to the land of change!

The big American dream!? I was hoping for a drastic turnover in life when I entered the United States of America….and there it was staring right back at me – Change!
As soon as I stepped out of the airport, the first thing I noticed were the roads….clean and no potholes but weird signs on the roads!(which now I think are way more easier to read than the signals hidden behind tress on Indian roads) The same night we went for dinner, after 30 hours of travel, one can’t gather enough strength to cook!! The restaurant was a bar not a restaurant, the funny thing I noticed was if they say they have grill and barbecue, that literally means they have grill and barbecue only, no other fancy stuff like curries or exotic rice….there is no choice…I mean how do the vegetarians survive? I thanked God I was not born a vegetarian! You can’t dream about options of Chinese, South Indian, Punjabi, Continental……like even if you go to a small, roadside hotel, you will still get the option of all the cuisines I mentioned above back in India!The tip part is also a little exaggerated! Now, if there is self service, why would I want to tip anyone!? The society/colony where I live feels like living in a bungalow where there is no one around for miles and miles. No one has the doors opened, there ain’t a doorstopper can’t be an excuse!No one talks to no one, except for smiling at complete strangers and wishing them, “Hey/Hi how are you?” I turn behind to see if there is someone standing who I didn’t notice!My mom taught me ‘never talk to strangers’!Basic manners like holding the door for someone who is trotting behind you was never a concern back home!My bad!Independence means I can do whatever I want…it’s my country, they are my country fellows! Here Independence means I need to watch what I say, I can’t urinate in public, I cannot spit or litter around,I cannot point fingers, I must respect privacy, I cannot cuddle unknown pets or children!
The gush of cold air made me want to slap myself for being overconfident. My father kept telling me to carry some thermal wear, but hey, I am the sweatiest of the lot remember, cold is good for me, no sweaty hands!I struggled to keep up with the cold! People keep saying, Texas has Pune weather….no need for warm clothes….oh really!? I am shivering!brrrr…..To top it all of, we have specific knowledge of seasons(forget the meteorological department which is always wrong with it’s predictions) chucking that, I know these 4 months I must carry an umbrella, these 3 months I must carry a pullover(we call it a sweater, oh and school taught us capsicum- don’t worry if they give you that stark look, it’s pepper here, red, yellow or green – I thought pepper was the round black thing….let’s not get into that)but unless you see the weather report on TV I suggest you should not step out with confidence…it’s so unpredictable, at one moment it will be cold, at another, it will start raining!!!
I thought we had the most notorious criminals, like the Sandalwood thief remember, but here the mafia can kill you for a petty 20 bucks! The birthplace of slang language. The negativity that I see on TV here, we are doing pretty well with Big Boss episodes!!! They advertise for a medicine, but list down all the side effects, psychologically, you won’t even want to touch the medicine anymore! They have so many reality TV shows with fights, bitching, cursing, drugs, sex that believe me Roadies is the best thing on TV for us! The best place for junk food and I can swear by it! Well, a little high a little low, adjusting to these changes is living and enjoying a different planet of the universe….America!

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