Tomorrow never comes!

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So here I am it’s almost 10.30 I’m done with breakfast and I’m waiting to go running at 11 am in the morning when there’s not too much rush at the gym and I can be myself and go at my speed and there’s no judging there are no bulky muscles around and I’m thinking to myself, all right get off your bum wear your clothes, tie your shoes and get out. I am so motivated today. Let me just fix my hair, wash my face, pick out my clothes, get my socks, by then I look at the clock and it’s 10:45 and I’m thinking, in 15 minutes I’ll have to leave and go hit the gym and then suddenly I remember Uh-oh I forgot to call a friend or I forgot to check on the recipe for lunch or I forgot to write something in my diary or I just remember random stuff to do like making a to-do list, I need to iron my t-shirts or clean the bathroom or do other chores and then it’s 11 am. The dreaded 11 a.m. I’m not out of the door I’m not wearing those gym pants or the gym shoes and I’m thinking oh well, the time’s gone so let me decide now, do the gym at 4 and then I start watching TV, I cook lunch and then I catch up on my FRIENDS re-runs and by the time it’s over, I look at the clock and its 5:00. Oh no, I missed the time again. Alright maybe 6:30? But then all the office crowd just comes back from work. Are  you sure you want to hit the gym now when there could be a little bit of judging a little bit of flaunting, a wee bit of flexing muscles. Argh, I don’t want to go now, it’s too late . I carry on with other work and then it’s time for dinner again and I’m thinking laying on my bed it’s almost 12:30 am. I must go to the gym tomorrow I must run on the treadmill I must walk outside I need some sunshine for myself, I must go out. I end up sitting on my couch watching TV at 10:30 thinking I need to go hit the gym. Groundhog day anyone!?

Battling with myself

There was an incident recently that made me doubt myself, to an extent that I cried and cried and got lost into a conversation that kept building up and there was no one around, the conversation was with myself! I have talked about loneliness and my positive side is to overcome it, but when loneliness makes you talk to yourself, you need to stop and wake yourself up. That is not right, its just not right. Letting people affect you, make you doubt yourself, letting them control your emotions is just not right. It is me who will decide if I did something wrong, if its not as bad as killing anyone, telling lies to hurt intentionally, stealing or cheating, it can be fixed. My bad habit is a small thing gets blown up in my mind, becomes a big issue and has its consequences. Do I stop living for that!? No, of course not, yes I cry, but I know that the pain can be healed, the hurt can be cured, there is always a second chance, if forgiving or forgetting is the greater thing to do, I need to do it. I am not perfect and I should not even aim to be, I will make mistakes. I need to learn to trust myself and not doubt, I need to be thankful for what I have, look forward to what I can do to make things better, to help and uplift others while I try to walk on the path of righteousness. Is there a judgement of right and wrong? No, not from my end, I am no one to judge others. I can judge myself because I know myself better than the ones who try to judge me. So I need to forgive myself if I think I did something wrong and move on. If I don’t treat myself as I want others to treat me, I am doing things wrong, I need to stop, take a step back and then move forward. https://poohalicious.wordpress.com/When I start treating myself right, I can treat others well, and expect them to treat me the same way. Unless they make peace with themselves, they won’t be able to release good into this world, does that mean, I have to stop doing good? No, all the major holy books will also say similar things. I just have to be patient and empathetic to myself and others. I need to learn to forgive myself and stop hating myself. I don’t have to try to be perfect, I just have to know and realize there are others just like me struggling and fighting their own battles.

Aside

Prayers Unlimited!

Dear God, there are many people who are always striving to achieve things that they have always wanted to,bless them,but also remember me who is happy with what you have given,help me enjoy each and every moment of this precious life,may I be slow and wise when I talk and only be able to spread good in the world.

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