Judgement Day!

The beautiful thing about this post is that the title is not related to any religious sentiment, so I hope it won’t trigger any religious responses but when I start by saying this it makes me realize how easily I can come to the point that I know each and everyone reading this post will have a judgement. That is what this post is about.

I was walking towards the gym one day and passed by the community pool and heard a little voice almost too excited, exclaimed ‘Hi!’ I looked back to see who it was and if it was me that they wanted to say Hi to, it is not very common these days to get even a smile from strangers forget a Hi! It was a little kid about 3 or 4 ready to jump into the pool with his little shoulder floats and just shorts accompanied by his mom or guardian who didn’t manage to curve those laugh lines even a little bit. It was more like an invitation from him to say Hi wanna come swim? I just smiled back. I always do. Also, I had read somewhere to always smile at kids it boosts their confidence rather than turning away or looking away that sends a message of shutting down. Another day it was a little girl just jumping around splashing water everywhere, she was older about 6 or 7 and even bolder who asked me in a sweet voice, Hi, why are you not swimming? I replied, I am not wearing the right clothes and she replied so innocently so what, the water is so nice, you should come. I considered it for a second and then I glanced across at the pool ‘rules’ board. I must admit I am not a daring person to break rules. It does take guts and sometimes stupidity to break rules. Sometimes I lack the guts sometimes the stupidity. But the way she kept convincing me I was thinking wow if only her mother heard her talking to a stranger and she did, the glare her mom gave me to stop talking to her daughter, I just scurried off saying may be I will see her Friday afternoon if she comes back. As soon as I stepped away the little girl got an earful about not talking to strangers. I felt bad for the kid who has no idea or judgments on what a stranger can do if he/she is friendly or a pervert. No judgement at all. Whereas both mothers had already judged me just by glancing at me that I was no good talking or responding to their kids. I am sure by the age of 9 or 10 kids start immitating adults if they see adults not interacting socially they refrain as well and then it triggers the aspect of judgement. Kids start judging peers, start having trust issues and get bullied or bully others, if only adults can show them it can be a better place if people are more friendly and peaceful towards each other.

Believe me I judge a lot, each and every day, everything and everyone. But that innocence struck a weird chord in my heart, where is that innocence, that trust, most of us had it, but where did it go? I remember vividly my sister just 3 or 4 would wander away even with the nanny around house. The fruit vendor, vegetable vendor, the laundry man would bring her back holding her hand and she was the prettiest of kids with bluish grey eyes, fair skin and red lips wearing mostly her sleeveless one piece cotton dress. Were there any trust issues? No, not really. How did it change over the years!? Who is to blame? I keep questioning, doubting everything and everyone. Is it just that thinking that attracts crime or misfortune? Judgement day will come when it will come but isn’t it time to judge our own thoughts and correct them first before we pass judgements on others? Judging people on their color, race, age, decisions, appearance, past. Then again who are we to judge others in the first place? For that reason alone can we rebuild the innocence of children when it comes to trust and make this a safer place for the future generations to grow up?

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Lost or found

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Ever felt like the loneliest person in a crowd? My nature is so that I can be the one to stand out in a crowd but I can also get easily drowned in a swarm of people. You can call it a talent, ability or  a mood swing. I have heard tales of tides,water, moon affecting our moods, but for me I think I am definitely extreme. I have an exceptionally optimistic day on a full moon(that’s what my name means) day and my energy completely drains me out on a new moon day. Scientific or otherwise, the reason I am saying this is, sometimes when you are at a quieter place in life it just makes sense, to think, get time to reflect on what we have achieved or what new quest we are ready to take on, to prepare ourselves for an adventure that is headed our way. The other way of looking at it is totally pessimistic, that I am not wanted, I am not doing anything worthwhile, or I am just a big blob on this earth. Not to say I have never said such things, I admit I have time and again. Who am I kidding, I have even shoved myself into a dark corner in the closet. But the positive thing is I can also motivate myself, to get up, do something about something that is not right, does not fit and it gets me all fidgety. I want to just say that no matter, how hard life seems, struggles never seem to end, but that is how we are all going to get through, no matter how much you try to shake it off, try to wiggle yourself out of the situation, it is going to come back, to test you. Have patience, stay calm, paint, listen to your favorite music, get up and dance a little, strut your stuff, you will eventually get there one day or the other, just try and never give up. Do you ever give up on Candy Crush or Call of Duty? No! That’s right, there is always a ‘play’ or ‘retry’ button in life too!
Feeling lonely is natural and just a phase, the more important thing is not to lose it to a level where insecurity starts assaulting, that’s when we need to give ourselves a wake-up call, start spinning a new dream and have faith that only you can achieve it. It’s only a matter of time and when you try hard enough to try and grab hold of every opportunity you get to realize the dream, go for it. This feeling reminds me of a lost or found department in school, if you have lost something somewhere, if you look hard enough you will find it. Sometimes, we find something we were not even looking for. That state of happiness always brings positive energy and that battery can charge me up and last for days on end. Good luck in finding what you might have lost.

Why can I never have a Best friend!?

I am not going to go into any philosophical stuff. Just had a pep talk from a friend today! It is weird,Image is it because I am a Cancerian that I need pep talks all the time, or is it because I have my mood swings or is it because I underestimate myself, whatever it is, professionally or personally, I behave much better when I have a pep talk from someone, or could be a really good song, or a nice movie, inspirational book, it gives me a real boost in life. The effect lasts till I encounter another negative experience, person, phone call, or some incident which has all the good, happy, positive material stored in my brain, go down the drain. I don’t know where that drain is.

Well, I have learned this through experience, and I promise my sister, that I will never have a best friend! But how and why do I reach this stage of becoming best friends with someone, and one day out of the blue, getting stabbed in the back! Ouch, that hurts!

MC900280399Acquaintance/Neighbor/Guests/Friends Friend is all under the same category.

Friend/Pastime Friend/Needy Friend/Dependent Friend/Mandatory Friend also fall in the same category

Best Friends/Crying Shoulders/Pat on the back/No Sorrys or Thank yous/ No Egos/Siblings or any relative could become a Best friend.

So basically, it takes levels to come to this stage…and the level drops in a second without any freaking efforts to this….

Backstabbers/Jealous/Hurtful/Egoist/Snobs/Chauvinists who can all get you on your knees, make your faces droop to the ground, that it becomes so obvious that you are hurt. Ugh!

So how do I become a victim of this abysmal deception??

A few things I guess. I am sure many others can add to their personal experiences.

> I always tend to stick around negative people hoping, someday they will change, they will realize!

> I ignore the deserving ones and trust wrong people blindly.

> I just cannot accept the way people are, try to change them, the World will end but that won’t happen! No, Nay, Never!

> I cannot pull down people or drop to their level of sarcasm. Why God, isn’t that what nicer people call being diplomatic? Hmm, hmm??

> Why do I  struggle to be perfect (like they pretend to be) when I know I am not!? No one is…that is the universal truth.

> I expect and expect and expect to receive as much as I give….even if its candies!

> I cannot forget or forgive.. Proves I am a human yet again…Ha! And you thought I was a…

> Can the real friend please STAND UP??? Or wave, or hit me with a bird, or a donut!? 😛

> I am so effing loyal!! I am not trying to praise myself here….Pinky promise!

> I guess I have to lie sometimes, for their own good, I must become a Truth warrior! \m/

> I am full of free advice. For sure no one needs my advice for their decisions unless I were a lawyer or doctor….I am none! Whoopsie!

> I talk so much and listen so less…Err..Yes, I do

Oh my God, so am I the one at fault here? Well, back to Square 1 …….

People judge, people scorn, try to belittle you, but you don’t have to be what they think you are….if I just turn the above comments into positive ones, I can learn my lessons quicker, become a better person. In the end, if I treat myself as I would like to be treated I will have the most effective relationship with the most important person who can be my best friend! No points for guessing! ME!!! Image

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