Where should I start…

Believe me, I am completely clueless as to why I cannot be consistent, be it writing, studying, or finding something I really love and honestly I love writing but since dad passed away I fall short of words. It is like learning to read and write again, life just seemed to stop even when it did not stop in reality. My imagination has been limited. Although my recent visit to India has put me back on track somehow, no wonder I am writing this now! Where should I start now? Have people in my life changed? Not really. Have times changed? Yes, drastically. In this world of technology, people care more on Whatsapp, Twitter and Facebook,than in reality. More of pings, pokes, emoticons, expressing in limited characters when life should be more of talking, seeing reactions with your own eyes, but somehow everyone is comfortable with what is going on…be it politics, religion, terrorism, violence, chores, jobs, everything is so peaceful in a disturbing way. Selfies are more common and selfishness is the need of the day!

I feel lost sometimes in all of this, feel that somehow I don’t belong to this age, that I should take birth again in the days where air was pollution free, vehicles were not so common, public transport was used more, mother nature was adored and glorified, religion was more bearable because not everyone objected, only a few were opinionated and we called them arrogant and ignored them. We were great kids to our parents, not demanding at all compared to the kids today. Our parents were also patient and not agitated and never handed over electronic devices for us to let them have their moment. They would include us in their moments. Cameras were only to capture special moments not daily life. Music and movies were only limited to entertain and not for skin show.We never regarded young girls as flesh, even when they were bare bodied as toddlers, it was like Adam and Eve until they ate the forbidden fruit, now everyone wants them to be covered up because they might fall prey to sinful organs. There were not as many chemicals, pesticides in the food that we ate, there was less of advertisement and more of trying stuff out. Makeup was only limited to celebrities now it hard to distinguish between an average person and a celebrity. Life was much simpler when people were harmoniously living with nature. To adjust to this demanding life, make sense and to find myself will take time, patience and consistency.

Why can I never have a Best friend!?

I am not going to go into any philosophical stuff. Just had a pep talk from a friend today! It is weird,Image is it because I am a Cancerian that I need pep talks all the time, or is it because I have my mood swings or is it because I underestimate myself, whatever it is, professionally or personally, I behave much better when I have a pep talk from someone, or could be a really good song, or a nice movie, inspirational book, it gives me a real boost in life. The effect lasts till I encounter another negative experience, person, phone call, or some incident which has all the good, happy, positive material stored in my brain, go down the drain. I don’t know where that drain is.

Well, I have learned this through experience, and I promise my sister, that I will never have a best friend! But how and why do I reach this stage of becoming best friends with someone, and one day out of the blue, getting stabbed in the back! Ouch, that hurts!

MC900280399Acquaintance/Neighbor/Guests/Friends Friend is all under the same category.

Friend/Pastime Friend/Needy Friend/Dependent Friend/Mandatory Friend also fall in the same category

Best Friends/Crying Shoulders/Pat on the back/No Sorrys or Thank yous/ No Egos/Siblings or any relative could become a Best friend.

So basically, it takes levels to come to this stage…and the level drops in a second without any freaking efforts to this….

Backstabbers/Jealous/Hurtful/Egoist/Snobs/Chauvinists who can all get you on your knees, make your faces droop to the ground, that it becomes so obvious that you are hurt. Ugh!

So how do I become a victim of this abysmal deception??

A few things I guess. I am sure many others can add to their personal experiences.

> I always tend to stick around negative people hoping, someday they will change, they will realize!

> I ignore the deserving ones and trust wrong people blindly.

> I just cannot accept the way people are, try to change them, the World will end but that won’t happen! No, Nay, Never!

> I cannot pull down people or drop to their level of sarcasm. Why God, isn’t that what nicer people call being diplomatic? Hmm, hmm??

> Why do I  struggle to be perfect (like they pretend to be) when I know I am not!? No one is…that is the universal truth.

> I expect and expect and expect to receive as much as I give….even if its candies!

> I cannot forget or forgive.. Proves I am a human yet again…Ha! And you thought I was a…

> Can the real friend please STAND UP??? Or wave, or hit me with a bird, or a donut!? 😛

> I am so effing loyal!! I am not trying to praise myself here….Pinky promise!

> I guess I have to lie sometimes, for their own good, I must become a Truth warrior! \m/

> I am full of free advice. For sure no one needs my advice for their decisions unless I were a lawyer or doctor….I am none! Whoopsie!

> I talk so much and listen so less…Err..Yes, I do

Oh my God, so am I the one at fault here? Well, back to Square 1 …….

People judge, people scorn, try to belittle you, but you don’t have to be what they think you are….if I just turn the above comments into positive ones, I can learn my lessons quicker, become a better person. In the end, if I treat myself as I would like to be treated I will have the most effective relationship with the most important person who can be my best friend! No points for guessing! ME!!! Image

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