Promises meant to be broken?

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Often I look back on my relationships and keep realizing that most of the times I am at fault for ruining it all, not because I am a bad person but because I make a lot of assumptions.Honestly, in just one meeting,I feel I know you and I can trust you or will just ignore you, based on my assumptions! Now, that may not always be a wise thing, but then I may blame it on my instinct or your body language or just language. All this happens for a reason and the reason being expectations. I have learned this lesson so many times and yet I am not thorough with it! I struggle to keep up, I am slow to react, but I have noticed whenever my expectations are not met, I assume again that the person is not interested in me, my interests, so there goes a relationship. Thereby, either I end up breaking promises or the other person does it anyway. This other person is also me in some cases. I decide something and break my own promises, let alone others keeping them if I cannot keep them on my own! Fragile and unsustainable relationships because of my assumptions. It is a vicious cycle. I wish I do break it soon. Just thought of sharing one of my struggles in life.

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Pray without ceasing!

ImageI don’t want to go in details about my struggle with finding the right God, knowing who is, what he does or what I give to him or get from him, but let me tell you there is one thing I will never struggle for, praying.
I am not going to give advice, sermon, preach about God here, but from my daily struggle, what helps me get through, what brings me closer to the day I wake up and the night I sleep in, its prayer. Just a little Thank you for the day and thank you for the night can go a long way. People would think I am crazy to talk alone, but what people don’t know is I might be praying. Just because it did look a little odd, I decided to talk in private. Prayer to me is talking to that someone who is listening intently even when you have the least hope that no one is listening. In general I don’t fail to say Thank you to someone who serves me at a restaurant, or never question authority. Then isn’t there someone so higher than me who thinks I am worthy enough to wake up for yet another morning on this earth who I should be thanking everyday? I remember I used to pray only when exams were close, or I’d have lost yet another key to the house and would be s**t scared of my father for an explanation or excuse, I would definitely pray then or at a magic show or circus where they are choosing volunteers that I should or shouldn’t be picked, or every other time I saw my crush and prayed he noticed me. So selfish of me! May be you don’t feel you have a purpose in life, but the higher power definitely has some job for you on this earth,otherwise why would you be here reading this, you’d probably be playing golf in the greenest of fields(heaven), or frying bacon in the air(hell,must be really hot down there). That power could be anything to you fairies, angels, Jesus, Mother Nature, Buddha, Allah, Krishna, to each his own. No wonder as kids, when we used to come home all dirty, my parents would ask me to wash my hands and feet and go stand before God and pray. That was just a habit they wanted us to develop but now I do realize how important prayer is. It gives me hope and strength to face this unpredictable world. Fighting the war for which God is the best could be right in your opinion, but isn’t thanking him/her more important at the moment you close or open your eyes when you don’t even know if they will open to see another day to fight over these issues? Whoa! Sorry for being so direct, but yeah a little practice will take me closer to my quest of knowing who is sitting high up there, watching, laughing with me when I embarrass myself and feel sad for me when my heart is broken. If while growing up I had fear and respect for my father, what excuse will I give to him who got me going on this earth for not praying!? Whoopsie daisies!

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