Judgement Day!

The beautiful thing about this post is that the title is not related to any religious sentiment, so I hope it won’t trigger any religious responses but when I start by saying this it makes me realize how easily I can come to the point that I know each and everyone reading this post will have a judgement. That is what this post is about.

I was walking towards the gym one day and passed by the community pool and heard a little voice almost too excited, exclaimed ‘Hi!’ I looked back to see who it was and if it was me that they wanted to say Hi to, it is not very common these days to get even a smile from strangers forget a Hi! It was a little kid about 3 or 4 ready to jump into the pool with his little shoulder floats and just shorts accompanied by his mom or guardian who didn’t manage to curve those laugh lines even a little bit. It was more like an invitation from him to say Hi wanna come swim? I just smiled back. I always do. Also, I had read somewhere to always smile at kids it boosts their confidence rather than turning away or looking away that sends a message of shutting down. Another day it was a little girl just jumping around splashing water everywhere, she was older about 6 or 7 and even bolder who asked me in a sweet voice, Hi, why are you not swimming? I replied, I am not wearing the right clothes and she replied so innocently so what, the water is so nice, you should come. I considered it for a second and then I glanced across at the pool ‘rules’ board. I must admit I am not a daring person to break rules. It does take guts and sometimes stupidity to break rules. Sometimes I lack the guts sometimes the stupidity. But the way she kept convincing me I was thinking wow if only her mother heard her talking to a stranger and she did, the glare her mom gave me to stop talking to her daughter, I just scurried off saying may be I will see her Friday afternoon if she comes back. As soon as I stepped away the little girl got an earful about not talking to strangers. I felt bad for the kid who has no idea or judgments on what a stranger can do if he/she is friendly or a pervert. No judgement at all. Whereas both mothers had already judged me just by glancing at me that I was no good talking or responding to their kids. I am sure by the age of 9 or 10 kids start immitating adults if they see adults not interacting socially they refrain as well and then it triggers the aspect of judgement. Kids start judging peers, start having trust issues and get bullied or bully others, if only adults can show them it can be a better place if people are more friendly and peaceful towards each other.

Believe me I judge a lot, each and every day, everything and everyone. But that innocence struck a weird chord in my heart, where is that innocence, that trust, most of us had it, but where did it go? I remember vividly my sister just 3 or 4 would wander away even with the nanny around house. The fruit vendor, vegetable vendor, the laundry man would bring her back holding her hand and she was the prettiest of kids with bluish grey eyes, fair skin and red lips wearing mostly her sleeveless one piece cotton dress. Were there any trust issues? No, not really. How did it change over the years!? Who is to blame? I keep questioning, doubting everything and everyone. Is it just that thinking that attracts crime or misfortune? Judgement day will come when it will come but isn’t it time to judge our own thoughts and correct them first before we pass judgements on others? Judging people on their color, race, age, decisions, appearance, past. Then again who are we to judge others in the first place? For that reason alone can we rebuild the innocence of children when it comes to trust and make this a safer place for the future generations to grow up?


Transition from a Best Friend-Girl Friend-Wife! Part I

I am sure the title is pretty attractive and I am even more confident that many women who have been through this phase will understand what it means to go through this. Here is what I think:
As a friend, you know each other well you are at a better stage than just being acquainted, you greet each other by names and not just Hi, Hello, you meet in groups, go to picnics, parties or other celebrations, etc. Your talks are like, “Hey, so did you see that show on TV last night? It was soooo awesome” Then you move on to the next stage to become great friends, you start going out for coffee, it does not matter if some people ditch you end up only with that friend, it is not awkward, instead you enjoy the chats, the gossips. Your talks begin with “Did you know what happened with X and Y?” Then come the ‘Glory days’ you are now best of friends you talk so much that even if your mouth hurts you won’t know, even if your ear is warm holding the phone for so long you don’t bother, you listen and talk and talk and listen and never get tired. You call and cry, and your best friend is always there, like your favorite song you are never tired of humming, and it is still not awkward, now you start sharing secrets really personal ones! You are straight in the face, a yes or a no. “If you gotta do it, you gotta do it” types! Your talks are like, “Dude, what’s with your hair!? You need to change it man, it reminds me of a porcupine”. You start complaining about your family to this friend who is pretty special by now. Then suddenly one day out of nowhere, your best friend goes away like for two days to a hometown or a vacation with the family or some camping trip. That is when you realize you are missing something, like someone just took an arm or a leg away from you, you stop thinking or think a lot, and get restless, and when your friend is back, you give the tightest hug, now this becomes awkward, something is wrong with your eyes, you can’t stop staring in your best friend’s eyes. You go home and think about your best friend the whole day, the entire night! What is wrong with you, you ask yourself, you chuckle, you blush! Oh no……You are in love with your best friend…Smile!!! Now your talks become awkward, really really awkward! “Do you think I should have done that, instead of that?” And then you enter the girlfriend stage. You become possessive, you start getting ‘hurt’ all the time! Your talks are now sagas, tragedies, comedies, and 70 mm movie like stories! Your talks are mushy so many times and sometimes over-emotional. “You know how much that hurts? You shouldn’t have said that!” And then your boyfriend has to say ‘Sorry” more than 1000 times. You will cut his calls, shut the door on him, dump your face in the pillow and cry over the smallest thing, you are the most fragile at this stage, and your boyfriend will do any damn thing on earth to make it up to you! He will send flowers, cakes, chocolates, buy more gifts, send more cards, sms, emails! Phew! You just want him to beg in the end! And then someday when you have some exciting news and you can’t wait to share it, you will patch up! Things go back to normal, all the coffee shop trips, silly shopping like “You and me” cards, gifts, toys, and so much of useless stuff that someday you are going to throw most of them away or are going to lose it anyway, or gift it to some relative on their birthday or wedding forgetting who it was from because it looks so new! While denying that you will never ever go to a park, some or other day you end up on a park bench, you don’t know how, but you do, you end up watching the worst, flop movies of all times, but you don’t care because you get to hold hands in the dark! 😛 That is some adventure…
I think I will write a part two! …..hold on….It’s far from over…. to be continued….

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